Sep. 24th, 2016

cerusee: a white redheaded girl in a classroom sitting by the window chewing on a pencil and looking bored (mai)
behold the light patch of air

Behold the light patch of air, and behold it,
The light pattern crosshatch of sun on that patch of skin,
Sitting by the bus window, in the breeze, in the motion;
Drifting in the moment of feeling,
That sun and breeze.
Stop. See it.

The freckles, the light hair, the whiteness;
Sunlit, sun-warmed, sun-dappled body;
Freckled, shadowed body.
This body works to feel warm and cool,
And underneath the light hair and freckled skin
Burns the coal, the fire, the blood, the beat,
The pulse of warmth, mostly invisible and unfelt
As long as all is well.

Normal is nothing; nothing is normal.
Sensation denotes a change of state,
And then the body pays attention, takes note:
Drafts a memo to the mind
That says sun and wind and movement.
The mind drifts, abstractly, absent the moment,
But the body remains and continues on
As conduit between consciousness and physical existence
And the drifting gradually gives way to purpose,
And the mind considers, and says ah,
The sun and wind and movement, and ah,
The bend and turn means soon, and ah,
Comes the stop.
cerusee: a white redheaded girl in a classroom sitting by the window chewing on a pencil and looking bored (mai)
Watching Leviathan / a different experience of birds

This art is too abstract;
I don't have the attention for it.
The argument:
I don't have time for this art.
It has no people,
It has no story;
It's only fish / boat / abstract people without names.

But what is art? I tell myself
Art is not just stories.
Art is not just people with names.
Everything here is a real color and texture
And happened.
It is an observation of fish flesh from the ocean
To the net to the deck to the knife to the pail
A process occurring everyday,
Concerning people and fish and god.

So I watch the colorful abstraction of the storyless fishing boat,
Feeling that I am doing a favor to art

When the silent eye suddenly swings
Upwards to the sky
And gives me a different experience of birds
cerusee: a white redheaded girl in a classroom sitting by the window chewing on a pencil and looking bored (mai)
The ancestors who weren't

I love your phantom, Facebook ex-pat children,
Consequence and complications of a life I (mostly) chose not to have.
What will they say in forty-five years, when I know their every all,
And I am the distant husk of an unknown username
Who remembers their first recorded word?
cerusee: a white redheaded girl in a classroom sitting by the window chewing on a pencil and looking bored (mai)
Tomato Seed Futures

Oh tomato,
I am crunching your seed
Beneath my eye teeth
As if it was
Nothing.

Animal, I,
Eating life to live;
Remorseless, unrepentant.
Gladfully, joyfully,
Happily, thoughtlessly
--Pleasurably--
Bearing the weight of all my successful cells
On your single one,
Taking your iota of matter into my whole
Universe.

You are mine, now.
All your futures and possibles,
Descendants who could have been,
Are now are my flesh.
Mine, until my line
Blinks from existence.

Life eating life is life;
Cells eating cells is life;
Fight against fight is life.
cerusee: a white redheaded girl in a classroom sitting by the window chewing on a pencil and looking bored (mai)
the fuck is fashion anyway.

six years later
when I was painting them pale again
i heard in my head my friend’s friend say
“your silver nails, so stylish—
she didn’t say!”

fuck if I know if she meant it
or said it just to slay.
cerusee: a white redheaded girl in a classroom sitting by the window chewing on a pencil and looking bored (mai)
It doesn't matter why you're gone (the new economy)

Whatever the need, they will fill it.

There is no reason, no excuse, no horror
Explaining why you are gone
That stops your replacement from filling it.

Die, sleep, take a leave of absence,
Go into a coma, pass out, have a baby,
Take a sabbatical, retire, evolve into a new body,
Reincarnate, ascend, have cancer. But

Never go away.  They will replace you.
They will replace you. They will do it right away.

January 2017

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