Jan. 25th, 2017

cerusee: a white redheaded girl in a classroom sitting by the window chewing on a pencil and looking bored (nothing good can last)
If You Could Live In Any Era

I couldn't. But,
They like to ask, so
I imagine myself without science.
Deaf, of course, and almost blind.
Sisterless. (One would have died at birth,
the other taken my mother along).
I think my father would still have loved me.
Three broken bones (wrist, foot, shin),
that could have healed badly.
Skin a blistering mass of pox and scars.
Teeth--not good; maybe a few left.
(They're soft, even without sugar.
Genetics can fuck you up as much as industry.)
Pale as a vampire,
I'd freckle, then burn, and burn, and burn,
And wrinkle up like a walnut, and maybe
(If I was really lucky) live long enough to die of cancer.
I wouldn't have been so lucky, though .
My gallbladder would rot into poison inside me
And kill me at seventeen.
cerusee: a white redheaded girl in a classroom sitting by the window chewing on a pencil and looking bored (Default)
This Is Not Your River

Passing through a door
Into a darker, quieter room
Away from asking;
Looking out into the light,
I saw my other self.

This was the room with the mirror.
But out there was the other me.
She was thinner, and less freckled, with better clothes--
It was her, the me who tried harder,
Wanting the same.

She was the me who ate less food
Even though she loved eating,
And who ran
Even though she hated running.
I think this other me never stopped wearing foundation
Even if she had to get up fifteen minutes early to put it on.
Even though she didn't have to,
And she wanted to sleep in.

Other me wasn't happy either.
She broke along the same cracks.
People mostly loved her and hated her the same.
She had the same house and the same cat and the same possessions,
Her clothes were smaller,
But she had the same shoe size as me
And her plants were just as thick and green as mine.
cerusee: a white blonde girl singing with flowers in the background (hagu singing)
What Is The Octopus Religion?

Men are madly of the crowd
All we want is to be together
Or to break apart from each other in revolution.
But the octopus is alone.
What is the octopus religion?

Men worship ourselves.
Four limbs times five is twenty digits
And one brain each.
Heads over feet.
One face is one god. Each.

The octopus has eight gods
Radiant; eight fractal selves
And no neighbors.
What is the octopus religion?
The octopus worships herself,
She is her own god.
cerusee: a white green-haired girl sitting on top of a white brown-haired boy and strangling him (love is trust)
Dead Rot Finger Trot

Oh on the cusp of doing things
My fingers are cactus, my nails are dried leaves.
I am singing,
"I want to do things but I can’t
My nails are so dry I can’t touch anything,
I'm like a ghost.
All the cloth curls under my dead nails.
Oh on the cusp--
Of things being done
My fingers are cactuses
My nails are dead leaves falling off.
I want to do things but I can’t.
I'm a ghost."
cerusee: a white redheaded girl in a classroom sitting by the window chewing on a pencil and looking bored (nana and nana)
Because I'm a girl

When I gave you a difficult name
It wasn't an invitation.
I was trying to put you off.
I didn't want you to know my stuff.
I hate to be a girl,
But you were being a guy
I couldn't dodge,
So I gave you a name
That I didn't think that you could solve.
You're my problem,
Because you think I'm a puzzle.

A Promise

Jan. 25th, 2017 09:25 pm
cerusee: a white blonde girl singing with flowers in the background (hagu singing)
A Promise

At night I write poetry as an excuse instead of sleeping
I swear every dragged-out morning
That this night this night I will do;
That tomorrow I will be well and rested and
I will be better and cure all my ills
I will sleep; I will be good; I will be better
I will read my books, I will and
I will
cerusee: a white redheaded girl in a classroom sitting by the window chewing on a pencil and looking bored (Default)
GET UP AND FIGHT

Okay, I say to self.
Take you one deep, holy breath;
hold it as long as you need to.

And let it out now.

Then go on, get up, and fight,
and keep on fighting
every single way that you can,
as long as you can.

January 2017

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