may is national language wankery month*

Geez, I can't believe this didn't turn up in time for April (which, as you may already know, is National Poetry Month)! Via Language Log--on spEak You're bRanes**, reactions to what I gather is a prescriptivist article on word use include hilarity...

"I remember my horror as a trainee teacher covering the legend of Beowulf with a year 7 class, at being told by one little boy that Beowulf ‘had a bling-bling shield’ …"

"No! The awful little fucker, how dare an 11 year old not appreciate that they didn’t say ‘bling bling’ in the Middle Ages. Or in your parent’s house. God the kids today!

In my GCSE class, one smelly urban toe-rag said Juliet was “pro’bly well fit, an’ that”. I was simply appalled. I waited for him after school and ran him over. And I reversed over him a couple of times too, to make sure that everyone clearly understood the guardianship of the English language is the exclusive preserve of the middle class."


...and a challenge prompt to write a poem starting with the line, "Beowulf had a bling-bling shield." Contenders thus far include

"Beowulf had a bling bling shield
It’s fleece was white as snow."

“Hark, eorlingas, to the tale of B-dog and his well bling bling shield. Innit. Random”.

"Beowulf had a bling bling shield
which he brandished too and fro’
he came to help Hroðgar
with his bling bling all on show

he killed both Grendel’s mother
and Grendel he killed too
became a great big ruler
but trod in dragon’s poo

The poo made Beowulf angry
so much he shouted out with glee
I’ll kill that bloody dragon
then get buried out at sea"

and


"The shades of night were falling fast,
As through an Alpine village passed
A youth, who bore, ‘mid snow and ice,
A banner with the strange device;
Bling Bling!

“O stay,” the maiden said, “and rest
Thy weary head upon this breast!”
A tear stood in his bright blue eye,
But still he answered, with a sigh,
Bling Bling!

…

A traveller, by the faithful hound,
Half-buried in the snow was found,
Still grasping in his hand of ice
That banner with the strange device,
Bling Bling!

There in the twilight cold and gray,
Lifeless, but beautiful, he lay,
And from the sky, serene and far,
A voice fell, like a falling star,
Bling Bling!"


~in Kristin Chenoweth voice~ Well, this has been fun!


*Oh, I know, that's silly. Every month is national language wankery month.

**Domain name: ifyoulikeitsomuchwhydontyougolivethere.com. Which is how you know it has to be good.