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Naruto 145 QES
Aug. 6th, 2005 02:45 amI was less bored by this episode. The overall arc is stupid, but there is some decent drama in the Iruka/Mizuki thing. And yay for the Ino/Chouji/Shikamaru scenes, too.
( 145 QES )
( 145 QES )
Mai-HiME 8-10
Jul. 30th, 2005 01:15 pmThis was written about a week ago, back before the new laptop. I keep meaning to post it. As always, spoilery for the episodes in question, with broad and hopefully unspoilery commentary on the show or characters as a whole.
( Ep. 8 )
( Ep. 9 )
( Ep. 10 QES )
( Ep. 8 )
( Ep. 9 )
( Ep. 10 QES )
Naruto 123 QES
May. 12th, 2005 05:20 pmSasuke-in-a-bucket: sssssssssssssDING!
Kimimaro: Ah, my dim sum is ready.
Naruto: Hey, Sasuke, let's go home!
Sasuke: hahahahahahaha. No. ::runs away::
Naruto: Doh.
Kimimaro: Keel you, bitch.
Rock Lee: ::is totally awesome and saves Naruto::
Tsunade: Well, Lee's surgery was a success, and he can start rehab tomorrow.
Nurse: Uh...he ran away and took your booze.
Tsunade: Shit! My booze!
Kimimaro: Keel you, bitch.
Rock Lee: Wait, hold on, just a sec, 'scuse me, sorry, I have to take my meds. Doctor's orders.
Kimimaro: ......
Rock Lee: ::chugs sake, goes all Jackie Chan Legend of a Drunken Master::
Kimimaro: ...wtf.
Kimimaro: Ah, my dim sum is ready.
Naruto: Hey, Sasuke, let's go home!
Sasuke: hahahahahahaha. No. ::runs away::
Naruto: Doh.
Kimimaro: Keel you, bitch.
Rock Lee: ::is totally awesome and saves Naruto::
Tsunade: Well, Lee's surgery was a success, and he can start rehab tomorrow.
Nurse: Uh...he ran away and took your booze.
Tsunade: Shit! My booze!
Kimimaro: Keel you, bitch.
Rock Lee: Wait, hold on, just a sec, 'scuse me, sorry, I have to take my meds. Doctor's orders.
Kimimaro: ......
Rock Lee: ::chugs sake, goes all Jackie Chan Legend of a Drunken Master::
Kimimaro: ...wtf.
Naruto 108-109
May. 6th, 2005 10:09 pmWell, that was absolutely in no way a surprise.
And it probably still wouldn't have been a surprise if I hadn't been spoiled out the wazoo for it. Sasuke, you pissy little drama whore, you.
Sakura: Naruto, let's go for a walk--in fact, let's make it a date. A date in which I constantly ignore you and only want to talk about the guy I'm in love with. Who is not you, in case you weren't sure.
Audience: Gee, I've had that date.
And it probably still wouldn't have been a surprise if I hadn't been spoiled out the wazoo for it. Sasuke, you pissy little drama whore, you.
Sakura: Naruto, let's go for a walk--in fact, let's make it a date. A date in which I constantly ignore you and only want to talk about the guy I'm in love with. Who is not you, in case you weren't sure.
Audience: Gee, I've had that date.
Naruto 106
May. 5th, 2005 12:52 pmSakura: Oh man, I did something clever and cool and saved Sasuke's life, and he wasn't awake to see it.
Audience: Now you know how Naruto feels.
Sakura: Does it hurt, Sasuke?
Sasuke: Please, please stop trampling all over the shattered remnants of my pride.
Naruto: ::is happy and cute and sunny and completely oblivious::
Sasuke: I bet I could kill him in his sleep.
Audience: Now you know how Naruto feels.
Sakura: Does it hurt, Sasuke?
Sasuke: Please, please stop trampling all over the shattered remnants of my pride.
Naruto: ::is happy and cute and sunny and completely oblivious::
Sasuke: I bet I could kill him in his sleep.
Naruto 105 QES
May. 5th, 2005 12:52 amAoi: Idate...I am your mentor. Ex-mentor.
Idate: Uh, yeah. So?
Aoi: Oh, nothing. It's just this lightsaber makes me think of Star Wars. Look, it's a taser, too! ZAP.
Audience: Good.
Sasuke: Naruto, take a break. We'll handle this.
Naruto: Pft, stop trying to act cool.
Sasuke: Look, if I don't do SOMETHING useful soon, my ego is going to require CPR.
Sakura: I will protect you, Idate!
Aoi: It's just you and him left. Heh. Go to heaven together, then.
Sakura: Well, he's cute and everything, but I'm actually saving myself for Sasuke.
Idate: Uh, yeah. So?
Aoi: Oh, nothing. It's just this lightsaber makes me think of Star Wars. Look, it's a taser, too! ZAP.
Audience: Good.
Sasuke: Naruto, take a break. We'll handle this.
Naruto: Pft, stop trying to act cool.
Sasuke: Look, if I don't do SOMETHING useful soon, my ego is going to require CPR.
Sakura: I will protect you, Idate!
Aoi: It's just you and him left. Heh. Go to heaven together, then.
Sakura: Well, he's cute and everything, but I'm actually saving myself for Sasuke.
Naruto 95-96 QES
May. 3rd, 2005 08:54 pmNaruto: Hey Kabuto, if I kick your ass across the parking lot, will you do your best impression of a quadruple amputee for me?
Kabuto: Well, okay, but then you have to die so I can make Orochimaru give me a raise.
Naruto: Happy to oblige.
Kyuubi: ARRRRGH...IT'S THE END...IT'S ALL GOING DARK...FAREWELL, SWEET WORLD...SURE WAS NICE KNOWING YOU....hey, whoa, hello hot mama. Kyuubi likes 'em busty. I guess I'll stay.
Tsunade: You didn't die this time, Naruto, so just to make sure the next one takes, I'll tie this Necklace O' Doom around your neck.
Gamabunta: Hey, class reunion. How ya doin' venom breath?
Manda: Two words: Frog Jerky.
Gamabunta: But just think how much I could make off of a snake-skin wallet.
Kabuto: Well, okay, but then you have to die so I can make Orochimaru give me a raise.
Naruto: Happy to oblige.
Kyuubi: ARRRRGH...IT'S THE END...IT'S ALL GOING DARK...FAREWELL, SWEET WORLD...SURE WAS NICE KNOWING YOU....hey, whoa, hello hot mama. Kyuubi likes 'em busty. I guess I'll stay.
Tsunade: You didn't die this time, Naruto, so just to make sure the next one takes, I'll tie this Necklace O' Doom around your neck.
Gamabunta: Hey, class reunion. How ya doin' venom breath?
Manda: Two words: Frog Jerky.
Gamabunta: But just think how much I could make off of a snake-skin wallet.
Naruto 90-91
May. 3rd, 2005 01:28 amTsunade: GRRRR.
Naruto: GRRRRRRR.
Tsunade: GRRRRRRRRR.
Naruto: I never hit a lady, but I'm gonna punch you in the mouth.
Tsunade: Wanna take it outside, little boy?
Naruto: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
Tsunade: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
Naruto: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
Tsunade: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
Naruto: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
Tsunade: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
Naruto: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrr.......
Tsunade: You lose!
~edit~ Hah hah, I suck. I'm rewriting this so it's actually funny. I shouldn't try to write jokes when I'm tired.
Naruto: I can master the Rasengan in three days!
Tsunade: Wanna bet?!
Naruto: Okay.
Tsunade: If I win, you have to give me all your money.
Naruto: And if I win?
Tsunade: I'll give you this necklace that'll kill you.
Naruto: GRRRRRRR.
Tsunade: GRRRRRRRRR.
Naruto: I never hit a lady, but I'm gonna punch you in the mouth.
Tsunade: Wanna take it outside, little boy?
Naruto: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
Tsunade: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
Naruto: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
Tsunade: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
Naruto: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
Tsunade: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
Naruto: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrr.......
Tsunade: You lose!
~edit~ Hah hah, I suck. I'm rewriting this so it's actually funny. I shouldn't try to write jokes when I'm tired.
Naruto: I can master the Rasengan in three days!
Tsunade: Wanna bet?!
Naruto: Okay.
Tsunade: If I win, you have to give me all your money.
Naruto: And if I win?
Tsunade: I'll give you this necklace that'll kill you.
Re: Jiraiya's introduction for himself. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I couldn't stop laughing for several minutes.
Jiraiya: SANNIN yadda yadda yadda EAST WIND yadda yadda SUMMONER OF FROGS yadda yadda THE GREAT JIRAIYA surely you've heard of me.
Naruto: ...ehhhhh. ::wanders off::
My Jiraiya love is stronger than ever.
My Sakura love is not so strong.
Sakura: Sasuke, thanks for saving my life!
Sasuke: ...actually, Naruto saved you. just you, though. totally not me. I could have headbutted Gaara if I really wanted to. I'm sure I would have thought of it. it's not like this is killing my self-esteem or anything.
Sakura: Don't be so modest, Sasuke! I know it was you because Naruto sucks far too much to ever do anything that heroic.
Audience: ...bitch.
Am mightily amused by how much Sasuke is angsting, though. ::pets:: Poor Sasuke was tricked into thinking he was the main character, and then not only does Naruto hands-down beat the guy who kicked Sasuke's ass, but Itachi comes back, and all he wants is Naruto. AHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Jiraiya: SANNIN yadda yadda yadda EAST WIND yadda yadda SUMMONER OF FROGS yadda yadda THE GREAT JIRAIYA surely you've heard of me.
Naruto: ...ehhhhh. ::wanders off::
My Jiraiya love is stronger than ever.
My Sakura love is not so strong.
Sakura: Sasuke, thanks for saving my life!
Sasuke: ...actually, Naruto saved you. just you, though. totally not me. I could have headbutted Gaara if I really wanted to. I'm sure I would have thought of it. it's not like this is killing my self-esteem or anything.
Sakura: Don't be so modest, Sasuke! I know it was you because Naruto sucks far too much to ever do anything that heroic.
Audience: ...bitch.
Am mightily amused by how much Sasuke is angsting, though. ::pets:: Poor Sasuke was tricked into thinking he was the main character, and then not only does Naruto hands-down beat the guy who kicked Sasuke's ass, but Itachi comes back, and all he wants is Naruto. AHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Naruto 78 QES
May. 1st, 2005 12:11 amNaruto: Kancho!
Gaara: Pft.
Naruto: Kancho go boom.
Gaara: Ow!
Gaara: Squash you! ::becomes a GIANT RACOON::
Naruto: FROG. Hahahahaha.
Gamabunta: Eh...I ain't fighting him.
Naruto: Pretty please with a cherry on top?
Gamabunta: Fine. But let's have a drink first!
Naruto: I'm underage.
Gamabunta: Deep in December / It's nice to dismember / A giant racoon / With a banana bunch where his tail should be.
SHUKAKU and GAMABUNTA have a SPITTING CONTEST.
Oh, and then the giant nine-tailed fox shows up.
Oh boy.
Gaara: Pft.
Naruto: Kancho go boom.
Gaara: Ow!
Gaara: Squash you! ::becomes a GIANT RACOON::
Naruto: FROG. Hahahahaha.
Gamabunta: Eh...I ain't fighting him.
Naruto: Pretty please with a cherry on top?
Gamabunta: Fine. But let's have a drink first!
Naruto: I'm underage.
Gamabunta: Deep in December / It's nice to dismember / A giant racoon / With a banana bunch where his tail should be.
SHUKAKU and GAMABUNTA have a SPITTING CONTEST.
Oh, and then the giant nine-tailed fox shows up.
Oh boy.
Naruto 74-75 QES
Apr. 30th, 2005 01:30 amOrochimaru: Hurry up and die! Didn't I stab you through the chest in episode 73?
Sarutobi: Not until I yank your soul out of your chest! This technique will put both our souls in the belly of the death god--forever entwined in hatred!
Orochimaru: Dude, I'm a necromancer, not a necrophiliac.
Sarutobi: Excuse me, who shoved a giant glowing phallus through whose chest?
Gaara: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! This is what happens you when you give me play-doh.
Temari: Art therapy, my ass.
Gaara: FLASHBACK ANGST.
Sasuke: Mine's bigger than yours!
Gaara: Is not!
Sasuke: Is too!
Gaara: Is not!
Sasuke: Is too!
Gaara: EAT YOUR HEAD!
Naruto: KICK YOUR ASS.
You know, when he wore his old blue-and-white outfit, I thought Sasuke looked like a giant pepsi can. Now that he's got that snazzy black thing, he looks more like a giant goth pepsi can.
Sarutobi: Not until I yank your soul out of your chest! This technique will put both our souls in the belly of the death god--forever entwined in hatred!
Orochimaru: Dude, I'm a necromancer, not a necrophiliac.
Sarutobi: Excuse me, who shoved a giant glowing phallus through whose chest?
Gaara: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! This is what happens you when you give me play-doh.
Temari: Art therapy, my ass.
Gaara: FLASHBACK ANGST.
Sasuke: Mine's bigger than yours!
Gaara: Is not!
Sasuke: Is too!
Gaara: Is not!
Sasuke: Is too!
Gaara: EAT YOUR HEAD!
Naruto: KICK YOUR ASS.
You know, when he wore his old blue-and-white outfit, I thought Sasuke looked like a giant pepsi can. Now that he's got that snazzy black thing, he looks more like a giant goth pepsi can.
ANBU: Uhhh...what happened to Orochimaru?
Orochimaru: It's me, dumbass. Just young, beautiful, feminine, and once again played by a female seiyuu.
Sarutobi: Orochimaru, you used the forbidden technique! ...you stole Naruto's Sexy no Jutsu, didn't you?
Orochimaru: A lady doesn't give away her secrets.
Orochimaru: Now I keel you all.
Sarutobi: Initiate Haunted House Sequence!
Orochimaru: Oh, eek, eek.
Monkey King: I believe that's my line.
Sarutobi: Cue Home Video Montage!
Audience: AWWWWWWWW! Look, little Sarutobi! And little Jiraiya! And little Yondaime! And little Kakashi! And little Iruka! And baby Naruto! And grown up Yondaime. HOT. You know, even if Orochimaru doesn't kill him in the next episode, Sarutobi's probably going to drop dead of old age by the end of the season.
In the mean time, Sasuke is dancing like a monkey, Temari is getting her ass kicked, and Sakura comes to the horrible realization that she smells like a dog.
Orochimaru: It's me, dumbass. Just young, beautiful, feminine, and once again played by a female seiyuu.
Sarutobi: Orochimaru, you used the forbidden technique! ...you stole Naruto's Sexy no Jutsu, didn't you?
Orochimaru: A lady doesn't give away her secrets.
Orochimaru: Now I keel you all.
Sarutobi: Initiate Haunted House Sequence!
Orochimaru: Oh, eek, eek.
Monkey King: I believe that's my line.
Sarutobi: Cue Home Video Montage!
Audience: AWWWWWWWW! Look, little Sarutobi! And little Jiraiya! And little Yondaime! And little Kakashi! And little Iruka! And baby Naruto! And grown up Yondaime. HOT. You know, even if Orochimaru doesn't kill him in the next episode, Sarutobi's probably going to drop dead of old age by the end of the season.
In the mean time, Sasuke is dancing like a monkey, Temari is getting her ass kicked, and Sakura comes to the horrible realization that she smells like a dog.
Naruto 66-68 QES
Apr. 29th, 2005 01:41 amGaara: I AM THE LIVING EMBODIMENT OF HAVING SEVERE MOTHER ISSUES. Fear my tentacles.
Audience: Ewww! Ewww! Eww eww eww!
Sasuke: I have super-powers! Just call me The Flash. I totally stole these moves from Lee, but he doesn't need them any more.
Sad Rock Lee: Woe.
Sakura: Wow!
Naruto: Whoa!
Sakura: I know!
Naruto: No, I meant "whoa," like, "stop."
Kakashi: Silly Naruto. If only you realized just how awesome Sasuke is, now that I've secretly trained him, you wouldn't fear for his life when he fights with an overpowered sadistic killer who swore to kill us all, particularly you.
Naruto: ...fuck you. I CAN MAKE A FROG THE SIZE OF TEXAS.
And then the giant snakes appear. I'm thinking the giant frog would be a good idea, right about now.
Audience: Ewww! Ewww! Eww eww eww!
Sasuke: I have super-powers! Just call me The Flash. I totally stole these moves from Lee, but he doesn't need them any more.
Sad Rock Lee: Woe.
Sakura: Wow!
Naruto: Whoa!
Sakura: I know!
Naruto: No, I meant "whoa," like, "stop."
Kakashi: Silly Naruto. If only you realized just how awesome Sasuke is, now that I've secretly trained him, you wouldn't fear for his life when he fights with an overpowered sadistic killer who swore to kill us all, particularly you.
Naruto: ...fuck you. I CAN MAKE A FROG THE SIZE OF TEXAS.
And then the giant snakes appear. I'm thinking the giant frog would be a good idea, right about now.
Naruto 59-62
Apr. 27th, 2005 10:05 amThis sequence can be summed up entirely in one word: "Yay!"
But I won't.
( Naruto 61-62 Quick Episode Summary )
But I won't.
( Naruto 61-62 Quick Episode Summary )
Naruto 44 QES
Apr. 24th, 2005 12:40 amNaruto: I'm marginally more talented than I was forty episodes ago! Eat it!
Everyone else: OH EM GEE WOWEE GASP SO COOL.
Kakashi: ::leans against the wall and is cool::
Akamaru: ::is rilly rilly cute::
Naruto: I get knocked down, but I get up again. You ain't never gonna keep me down. 'Til I go down, 'til I go down, I'm gonna stand my ground, 'til I go down. I won't back down, no I won't back down, you can stand me up at the gates of hell, but I won't back down.
Kiba: Fortunately, the Ninja High Command encourages the use of steroids as well as canine-assisted cheating during exams.
Naruto: ::gets knocked down and gets back up again::
Naruto: ::gets knocked down and gets back up again::
Naruto: ::gets knocked down and gets back up again::
Naruto: ::gets knocked down::
Audience: Oh well, fight's over.
Naruto: ::gets up again::
Audience: WILL YOU MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND?
~edit~
~edit edit~ Doh. Got the episode number wrong.
Naruto 45
Basically, this was just like 44, but with more bleeding, and the puppy gets beaten up. ;_;
Everyone else: OH EM GEE WOWEE GASP SO COOL.
Kakashi: ::leans against the wall and is cool::
Akamaru: ::is rilly rilly cute::
Naruto: I get knocked down, but I get up again. You ain't never gonna keep me down. 'Til I go down, 'til I go down, I'm gonna stand my ground, 'til I go down. I won't back down, no I won't back down, you can stand me up at the gates of hell, but I won't back down.
Kiba: Fortunately, the Ninja High Command encourages the use of steroids as well as canine-assisted cheating during exams.
Naruto: ::gets knocked down and gets back up again::
Naruto: ::gets knocked down and gets back up again::
Naruto: ::gets knocked down and gets back up again::
Naruto: ::gets knocked down::
Audience: Oh well, fight's over.
Naruto: ::gets up again::
Audience: WILL YOU MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND?
~edit~
~edit edit~ Doh. Got the episode number wrong.
Naruto 45
Basically, this was just like 44, but with more bleeding, and the puppy gets beaten up. ;_;
Sakura: I'm tired of sucking!
Audience: We're tired of you sucking, too!
Sakura: I've just run out of people to save me while I stand by and gasp, and that bitch is pulling my hair! Here we go! My last stand! Very dramatic! I'll cut my own hair off, which will so shock my hardened, murderous opponents that I will actually be able to wound one of them and...bite him... ::gets beaten within an inch of her life::
Audience: ...
Sakura: Well, better to get killed in a fight because I suck than not to fight at all, right?
Audience: OMG you still suck. plz don't die.
Audience: We're tired of you sucking, too!
Sakura: I've just run out of people to save me while I stand by and gasp, and that bitch is pulling my hair! Here we go! My last stand! Very dramatic! I'll cut my own hair off, which will so shock my hardened, murderous opponents that I will actually be able to wound one of them and...bite him... ::gets beaten within an inch of her life::
Audience: ...
Sakura: Well, better to get killed in a fight because I suck than not to fight at all, right?
Audience: OMG you still suck. plz don't die.
Kyou Kara Maou 25 QES
Feb. 27th, 2005 11:02 pmHube: Because my bigotry and poor judgment resulted in the death of a major character's Most Precious Person--not to mention a few hundred NPCs--I must wander the land seeking redemption in dueling.
Audience: Yes, what better way to redeem yourself than to kill even more people?
Audience: Yes, what better way to redeem yourself than to kill even more people?
