feed the flames, tuppence a bag
Apr. 25th, 2008 07:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ceruseeIf you are blissfully unaware of the short happy life of the Open Source Boob Project, have some context.
No,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
theferret, I don't think the world would become a utopia if strangers were encouraged to feel comfortable asking me if they could touch my breasts. Rape has not wiped the world of its ills, prostitution has not wiped the world of its ills, consensual adult sex has not wiped the world of its ills. While having one's sexual needs met--whatever they are--certainly helps a person maintain a balanced perspective, I've not found that traits of selfishness, assholery, mental rigidity, dysfunction, etc, are confined to chaste virgins or the sexually frustrated.
On a related note, I never experienced any noticeable sense of freedom or empowerment being in the presence of men whistling at, honking at, shouting at, or soliciting me for sex on the assumption that I was a prostitute, as indicated by my choice to enter a red light district--that is, the streets immediately outside my undergraduate university. I have to be honest; ever since then, I've held a grudge against people making unwarranted assumptions about my openness towards sexual contact with them based on my duel choice to be female and present in whatever venue they considered fair game for sexual solicitation.
I don't like being touched by strangers; I've had an aversion to being touched by strangers as long as I can remember. I do not need fixing. I am comfortable with my aversion to being touched by strangers, and it does not interfere with my ability to interact with the world or to take pleasure in the company of other people.
Within my circle of close friends and family, I'm comfortable with touch, expect touch, initiate touch. That comfort with touch does not extend to having my breasts fondled by my friends. The only person/s I ever want to touch my breasts, excepting perhaps a medical professional conducting non-sexual exam, is a prospective sexual partner, and only in situations where there had been some explicit agreement that we were going to have consensual sexual activity. Period. It's non-negotiable. It's my right to decide that. I categorically reject any argument, movement, activity that does not acknowledge that I have the right to choose not to be touched, and that my choice not to be touched does not indicate frigidity, mental, physical, social, or sexual dysfunction, asexuality, "uptightness," or whatever label you want to slap on someone who doesn't find the prospect of being groped at a con to be sexually empowering.
Living in a world that includes non-touchy-feely people like me might be frustrating for you, but man? That's your bag.
If I was ever approached at a con by someone asking if he or she could touch my breasts, or honest to god, even just asking me if I'd like a pin to indicate that my boobs were up for grabs, I'd feel my dignity to be violated, because someone took away my right not to be sexually solicited in grossly inappropriate circumstances. It's not okay to ask a girl how much per hour just because she's in a neighborhood where prostitutes hang out; it's not okay to ask a girl if she wants to make her breasts publicly available just because she's at a con. Or a bar. Or a party.
No,
theferret, I don't think the world would become a utopia if strangers were encouraged to feel comfortable asking me if they could touch my breasts. Rape has not wiped the world of its ills, prostitution has not wiped the world of its ills, consensual adult sex has not wiped the world of its ills. While having one's sexual needs met--whatever they are--certainly helps a person maintain a balanced perspective, I've not found that traits of selfishness, assholery, mental rigidity, dysfunction, etc, are confined to chaste virgins or the sexually frustrated.On a related note, I never experienced any noticeable sense of freedom or empowerment being in the presence of men whistling at, honking at, shouting at, or soliciting me for sex on the assumption that I was a prostitute, as indicated by my choice to enter a red light district--that is, the streets immediately outside my undergraduate university. I have to be honest; ever since then, I've held a grudge against people making unwarranted assumptions about my openness towards sexual contact with them based on my duel choice to be female and present in whatever venue they considered fair game for sexual solicitation.
I don't like being touched by strangers; I've had an aversion to being touched by strangers as long as I can remember. I do not need fixing. I am comfortable with my aversion to being touched by strangers, and it does not interfere with my ability to interact with the world or to take pleasure in the company of other people.
Within my circle of close friends and family, I'm comfortable with touch, expect touch, initiate touch. That comfort with touch does not extend to having my breasts fondled by my friends. The only person/s I ever want to touch my breasts, excepting perhaps a medical professional conducting non-sexual exam, is a prospective sexual partner, and only in situations where there had been some explicit agreement that we were going to have consensual sexual activity. Period. It's non-negotiable. It's my right to decide that. I categorically reject any argument, movement, activity that does not acknowledge that I have the right to choose not to be touched, and that my choice not to be touched does not indicate frigidity, mental, physical, social, or sexual dysfunction, asexuality, "uptightness," or whatever label you want to slap on someone who doesn't find the prospect of being groped at a con to be sexually empowering.
Living in a world that includes non-touchy-feely people like me might be frustrating for you, but man? That's your bag.
If I was ever approached at a con by someone asking if he or she could touch my breasts, or honest to god, even just asking me if I'd like a pin to indicate that my boobs were up for grabs, I'd feel my dignity to be violated, because someone took away my right not to be sexually solicited in grossly inappropriate circumstances. It's not okay to ask a girl how much per hour just because she's in a neighborhood where prostitutes hang out; it's not okay to ask a girl if she wants to make her breasts publicly available just because she's at a con. Or a bar. Or a party.